List of the Lost by Morrissey
I read Morrissey’s ‘Autobiography‘ and reviewed it here, finding some parts, especially the childhood sections a fair read – it soon descended into being bitter and twisted and oh so boring though.
So, I couldn’t resist spending £5.59 on a copy of his novel, out yesterday – my copy arrived this morning, and I have skimmed bits of it at coffee break and lunchtime.
The first sentences reads thus:
Ezra, Nails, Harri, Justy. You’d dig hard and deep to excavate four names quite so unusual. Yet there they were and there they stood, sounding exactly like what they were.
Nothing special, except I already thought I’d rather re-read about another foursome – Jude, Willem, Malcolm and JB! The fourth sentence continues:
You would be offered a hearty shake of the javelin hand as expressions of possession of command from the four boys, each one fully developed into the blissful torment of their turnabout twentieth year – a pleasantly resolved marital union almost closed off in its camaraderie to the onlookers of the mookish great world.
Seriously, it had lost me already.
*** SPOILERS *** *** SPOILERS *** *** SPOILERS ***
Skimming on, the foursome get into an assortment of scrapes including an encounter with hobo who dies, finding a body long-buried in their college grounds. Oo-er! All sounds a bit Secret History suddenly…
Then, on page 99 begins an excruciating sex scene between Ezra and his girlfriend Eliza. The Times informs me it is 72 lines long!
… Eliza’s breasts barrel-rolled across Ezra’s howling mouth and the pained frenzy of his bulbous salutation extenuating his excitement as it whacked and smacked its way into every muscle of Eliza’s body except for the otherwise central zone. …
Private Eye, you can award him the Bad Sex Award now!
*** END OF SPOILERS ***
It’s ranty, overblown, very abstract at times, and very annoyingly, the dialogue is in italics.
Mercifully, it is only 118 pages long, but I don’t think I can be bothered to read it in full. Still for the price of a pint and a half, it has ‘entertained’ me.
* * * * *
Source: Own copy – DNF
List of the Lost by Morrissey – published 24th Sept 2015 by Penguin. Paperback original. 118 pages.